


the adventures of wine headache and blah blah mcblah

by reluminous



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Canon Relationships, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28751013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reluminous/pseuds/reluminous
Summary: aka many, many reasons why callie torres regrets having christina yang and mark sloan as friends; kind of an alternate universe where roommates christina & callie are the center of the story.
Relationships: Arizona Robbins/Callie Torres, Christina Yang & Callie Torres, Mark Sloan & Callie Torres, Mark Sloan & Callie Torres & Cristina Yang, Mark Sloan/Cristina Yang
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started watching GA from the beginning (I had previously watched seasons 11-15), and episode 5x07 had me in such stitches. Honestly, the comedic potential of Christina, Callie, and Mark... Totally wasted. I have no real plan for how this will go, I just wanted to write more of Christina laughing at Mark.
> 
> I'm kind of against the term "man-whore" and also just generally the term "whore", but I'm sort of leaning into this era of Grey's Anatomy. It'll appear a fair amount in chapter one, but after that it'll peter out.

Christina makes her escape from Meredith's house before the sex noises start. Sure, Meredith comes down to keep talking dead brilliant-surgeon-slash-abusive-mommy journals, but then Derek comes down with the sad puppy look and Mer's face does the thing that it does when her cold, emotionally stunted heart melts and gets horny, so yeah: Christina books it and heads to Joe's for a nightcap because Callie's sent her a lesbian SOS which Callie specifies is not about herself because Hahn is a lesbian but Callie is still finding herself because she likes penises too and is weirdly agonized about it.

It's kind of whatever. Sexuality crises are a little too freshman undergraduate year for Christina, but Christina actually likes Callie. Christina's had roommates before, but usually they end up in screaming matches that culminate in with the roommate dramatically moving out. So what if Christina doesn't like cleaning? At least she knows herself and what her priorities are. Her roommates have tended to not agree, ergo the dramatic moving out.

Which is fine, Christina is good at being alone, even better than Mer, and she likes being good at things. In hindsight, she should have seen that whole Burke disaster coming. She wasn't good at being a girlfriend. She'd done her best and then it wasn't enough. That's life, c'est la vie, insert other languages here.

But alone, she's good at. Which is why Callie has been such a surprise. Christina had waited for the inevitable other shoe to drop, but it hasn't. Christina is almost one hundred percent sure that it's because Callie is a much better roommate than Christina is, and also because they'd worked out early that Christina didn't need to clean as long as she paid half the fee of the maid service that Callie hired.

Callie also doesn't get upset about Christina leaving her clothes everywhere. She just sighs loudly and rolls her eyes, kicks them against the wall so at least they're not a tripping hazard. Christina has recently found herself making sure to toss her clothes at the walls at least when she's blearily stripping her clothes off after spending too many hours at the hospital.

Christina can't put her finger on why that's different from the way she'd resentfully and guiltily stuffed her clothes in a duffel bag she tucked just inside the door of Burke's apartment and pretended she didn't know Burke would put in the laundry for her, but it is. She appreciates it.

Anyway, so that's why she responds to the lesbian SOS even though it's juvenile. Plus, Callie promises to pay for her drink. Just one, though. Callie is very clear about this.

Christina can't believe Callie married George. She can't believe George cheated on Callie with Izzie. Mer's definitely got a weird addiction to family dysfunction, because those two are still her family, just like Alex. But Meredith is Christina's damaged WASP sister from another mister, Christina's ride-or-die, so what does that say about Christina? Nothing good, probably. Thank god she's made it to Joe's before the introspection gets unbearable.

"Beer!" Christina cheers when she sees Callie. Callie looks…terrible. "Okay, never mind, you look like shit. This is a tequila night."

"Charming," Callie says, voice dry, but tosses the shot back as soon as Joe serves it without even glancing at the salt and lemon. Damn. This is Mer-waiting-for-Derek-to-choose-her bad. This is George-cheated-on-me-and-I-lost-my-job-as-Chief-Resident bad. Something's happened with Hahn. Oh, god. Hahn is going to be unbearable for weeks again.

Christina tosses back her shot. This is going to be a long night. Probably a long year. Ugh.

Callie shudders and exhales sharply as the tequila burns its way down her throat and then squints at Christina. "Did you know Sloan's been flirting with you all day?"

The reminder of the most hilarious thing that's happened to Christina all year momentarily distracts her from why she's here—she cackles, makes grabby hands for Callie's fries in an unspoken demand for food in exchange for details. Callie slides the basket over and makes a face when Christina shoves several in her mouth and starts speaking with her mouth full. "Oh my god," Christina mumbles, chewing. "Oh my god, that was hilarious. Apparently it was Shepherd's idea, can you believe it? Apparently that was his plan to get more of Meredith's attention."

"What?" Callie asks. A totally reasonable response to a stupid idea.

Christina giggles at the memory of Sloan's earnestly affronted expression at realizing Christina had _zero_ interest in hitting that. Christina doesn't like being mean, exactly. But it can be so funny when men get upset that someone doesn't want them—especially when it's a man like Mark Sloan, who thinks he's such hot shit. Irresistible, just because 90% of the women he's met want into his pants. It was also hilarious when the nurses boycotted him. Even more hilarious when Bailey bailed him out by calling him a man-whore. One of the interns got a video of it. Christina has it saved to four different devices, just in case.

"I don't know," Christina says with a shrug, chowing down on more fries. Callie sighs and just orders another basket. A thought occurs to Christina that makes her straighten her spine and frown. "Should I be offended that he thought some random dick was enough to distract me from surgeries and my best friend?"

"I mean, he's pretty good with it," Callie opines. Christina scrunches up her face. She forgot that Callie and Sloan were like, friends. Friends with benefits or something. Christina doesn't get it, but it's not her place to judge. She doesn't really want to know the details either, though. Callie doesn't notice or doesn't care about her disinterest because she sighs dreamily and looks off in the distance and says, "Say what you want about his reputation, he's definitely earned it."

"Ew," Christina says, and snaps her fingers in front of Callie's face. "Hey. Focus. Lesbian SOS. I thought that was Sloan's area of expertise anyway, don't you usually talk to him about this kind of stuff? Just when I thought he was actually useful to have around…"

"He's in surgery and this is," Callie slumps, "about Stevens."

Christina stares at her. When things are about Izzie, it's never good. For someone with such a disarmingly pretty face, she can do some serious damage. Truly, the variety and extent of damage she can produce is almost impressive, ranging from dozens of muffins that have to be thrown out when they can't be consumed fast enough even by an army of residents before they start attracting ants to, well, stealing hearts for patients she is inappropriately in love with.

Speaking of: "Erica found out about Denny," Callie says quietly, putting her face in her hands. "And then she told me that I'm not a real lesbian."

Damn. That's a doozy. It also doesn't make sense yet to Christina, but whatever. Christina indicates to Joe to bring them another round. She looks at Callie for a moment before giving her both shots and immediately orders another round.

Christina barely knows how to do this for Meredith, who is as heterosexual as they come. There's a lot of extra stuff going on here that Christina has absolutely no idea what to do with. Tequila and mutual bemoaning, that is what she knows how to do. One more round and then Christina is buying a bottle to go so they can vomit their emotions and their actual vomit in the comfort of their own apartment.

Time goes a little sideways after that.

"I want to be with her, but I have to believe that my experience is valid too," Callie is saying sadly into her new basket of fries. "Do you get that?"

"Totally," Christina lies. She knocks back her shot.

"Erica totally doesn't get that," Callie mumbles through a fry. "I don't get it. How does she know? Can you still be a lesbian if you like penises? She said I can't 'kind of' be a lesbian, but that's what I am. Right?"

Christina's run out of fries. She steals some of Callie's fresh ones, which are strangely lukewarm. "I don't know that much about lesbians," she admits. "Women don't really like me that much, lesbian or not."

"People don't really like you," Callie points out.

"I feel like you're really just proving my point," Christina says. "Joe—"

"Already called you a taxi," Joe says, putting the remaining fries in a box that he plops into the bag that Christina assumes is the bottle of tequila she vaguely remembers ordering.

Christina looks at him, a very profound thought rising to the fore. "Joe," she says, "you are a man among men. I am in love with you."

"I'm gay and in a committed relationship," Joe responds as he ushers them out of the bar.

"You're gay!" Callie gasps. "Do you like pussy at all?"

"No," Joe replies, and shoos them towards the taxi before going back into the bar.

Callie looks at Christina. Christina looks at Callie.

"That was not helpful," Callie reports. Christina laughs so hard she thinks for a moment she's peed herself.

"Are you getting in or not?" the taxi driver demands, only it's Mark Sloan. 

"Were you fired for sexual harassment and now you have to drive taxis so you don't have to be an actual man-whore?" Christina says without meaning to. To be fair, she didn't expect to actually say it out loud but now that it's out, it's out.

"Sexual—" Sloan sputters. "No! I just got out of surgery! Callie told me to meet her here, so—"

Callie is giggling. "Man-whore," she repeats to herself. "That was such a funny video."

"There's a video?" Sloan asks, sounding injured emotionally. Christina doesn't know why people are always falling over this guy. He's kind of lame. McSteamy. More like McBlah. Christina giggles too. That's pretty funny.

To Callie she says, "Your friend here thought I wanted to bone him just because women are throwing themselves at him all the time or whatever, but he's pretty lame. More McBlah than McSteamy."

"Ouch," Callie says, but giggles. "McBlah." Christina feels warm and fuzzy. Validation is the real drug.

"I can hear you," McBlah says.

"Oh good, then can you drive us home?" Christina asks.

McBlah looks outraged. "You just insulted me! To my face! You called me 'blah'!"

"Yeah, but," she looks at Callie, who quickly puts on her pitiful princess face with the big dewy eyes and everything. "I mean, she's sad. Look at her. She's sad. So sad. Something about lesbians. Confusion. Kinsey scale. Mean heart surgeons." McBlah looks conflicted. "We have a bottle of tequila?" she tries.

McBlah gives her a disgusted look. "Haven't you two had enough?" he asks. "Ugh. Just get in. Where do you live?"

"You don't know?" Christina asks as she slides into the backseat, surprised. Callie slides in next to her instead of sitting up front, like they're in an actual taxi.

"No, we're not there in our friendship," Callie says.

"Well," Christina says, "you better get there because that couple just stole our actual taxi."

Callie snickers and rattles off directions to McBlah. They get distracted talking about the origins of the Mc- nicknames. Callie is friends with Addison Montgomery, which Christina had not realized. Apparently the former Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd is living it up in L.A. Good for her. Christina hates L.A.

"Of course you hate L.A., you hate all good things," McBlah grumbles from the driver's seat. 

"No, I just have good taste," Christina informs him.

"I don't like you," McBlah says.

"Neither do lesbians," Callie says thoughtfully.

"Good thing you're only kind of a lesbian," Christina tells Callie. She smirks at McBlah. "Does that make you a lesbian?"

"Pretty sure it doesn't," McBlah says.

Time tilts again, and they're all in the apartment that Christina accidentally stole from Izzie and McBlah insists on using actual shot glasses instead of drinking from the bottle. He's also explaining the Kinsey scale and Callie is listening with an expression of absolute concentration. Christina is pretty sure she's not taking in anything McBlah is saying.

"So you're saying I'm only kind of a lesbian," Callie says. She tears up a little. "So Erica was right."

"Hahn is a jerk," Christina mumbles into her palm, which she has mashed into her face because her face feels drunk and she needs to check its inebriation. "But such a good surgeon. I can't believe she made such a big deal about not sleeping with me because she 'sleeps with men' when she's a lesbian. Unbelievable. Just…unbelievable…"

"You're unbelievable," McBlah announces. "I'm a catch! I'm good with my mouth, my hands, and many other parts of my body."

"I'm sorry," Christina says, meaning it as little as she can, "did you say something? I just heard 'blah blah blah' from Mr. Blah Blah McBlahtherson—"

"—Blah Blah McBlahtherson, real mature," McBlah says over her, trying to match the scathing in her sarcastic voice, but mostly failing. Christina is smug.

"I am mature," Christina says. "I'm great. I'm going to be a world-class heart surgeon, even better than Erica Hahn and Preston Burke. They're going to eat my dust and I hope they choke on it."

Callie and McBlah are staring up at her and Christina realizes that she'd stood up in the middle of her monologue.

"Don't look at me like that," she says. "I'm just saying, heart surgeons suck and we don't need them."

"You just said you're going to be a heart surgeon," McBlah says.

Christina scoffs. "Obviously I don't count because I'm going to be better than anyone else."

McBlah stares at her. "Wow."

"It grows on you," Callie says magnanimously.

"I still don't like you, but for some reason I feel slightly more respect for you," McBlah says to Christina.

"Whatever, man-whore," Christina says. A sudden flare of curiosity makes her ask, "Seriously, why would you agree to Derek's idiotic plan?"

McBlah shrinks a little. "I don't know. I slept with his wife."

Christina stares at him. And stares some more. And then she bursts out laughing.

"I really don't like you," McBlah mutters.

Callie shakes her head. "I can't believe I'm friends with you people," she says to the ceiling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I obviously had not watched 5x08 before writing chapter one, haha, but honestly I like my version better. It's kind of funny to discover after the fact that I was completely AU from the beginning without even realizing it! While I'm at it, I'm just going to make up a whole different back story for Christina. Honestly I didn't realize how shallow her character background was until I started writing this chapter and did some research into her family. Kind of disappointing. I support Sandra Oh's decision to leave even more now! (As if Catfight and Killing Eve weren't more than enough reason.)

This is a weird day. Callie breaks down in the OR because Hahn is gone. Christina is actually a little impressed, though of course she knows not to say it to Callie. She just can't help but respect a woman who draws a line and sticks to it. Besides, it's not like Hahn is completely in the wrong about the Denny thing. Honestly, that whole thing was certifiably insane and Christina can't believe she got wrapped up in it. Even now she doesn't like thinking about it; just remembering that time makes her feel confused and afraid and out of control, all feelings that Christina hates, possibly more than anything.

It seems like overkill for her to shut Callie out like this, though. Christina doesn't really know what to say about it. Tequila nights always work with Meredith because it makes Meredith tired and cranky and less likely to bottle her feelings up, so then it all kind of works out somehow. Callie isn't fine, but she is pretending she is even with the tequila hangover and the crying in the OR, and McBlah is staring so intently at Three that Christina is almost surprised baby Grey doesn't spontaneously combust.

The staring reminds Christina of another uncomfortable thing that is going on today: her interns are practicing stitches on _each other._ Christina doesn't know what to do about that, either. What the fuck? Do they have no sense of self-preservation? They need to learn some things about boundary-setting from Hahn. Maybe if they'd had more exposure to Hahn and Hahn to those dumbasses, Hahn would still be here instead of making Callie feel terrible about her budding queer sexuality before fucking off and One to Four Point Two could be practicing their stitches on bananas instead of on fellow interns.

Is she supposed to tell Mer about this kind of thing? Christina doesn't really have siblings. She has a couple step-siblings that are more than a decade older than her, but they mostly just pretend she doesn't exist. She has a little half-brother more than a decade younger than her, but they don't really talk either. He works at Starbucks part-time and makes artsy short films. He's dating a Catholic girl who wants to be an actress and apparently they're in love. Nobody wants to talk about any of it, so they don't. It works for them, but Mer's never had more than her shitty mother as family before and doesn't seem to know what she wants to do about it now that it includes a shitty alcoholic dad and an intern half-sister who is kind of a disaster, even for an intern.

Virginia Dixon and the whole 'Death and Die' thing are shocking low on her list of concerns right now. She does have to say that she doesn't appreciate Derek's attitude about the whole thing, though. How dare he sound so smug and amused that she got kicked out into the kitchen.

Also, Hunt is at the bar. He looks tragically good, or possibly good but also tragic. Christina doesn't know why she's so into it.

"So, uh, hey," Callie says, eyebrows raised. "You want to tell me what's going on with you and Hunt?"

Christina scowls at her. "Don't deflect, it's not cute. I don't make you talk about Hahn, we don't talk about my love life, no matter how much you want to act like you're fine."

"Hey," Sloan interjects, finally tearing his eyes away from Three to furrow his brows in what he probably thinks is a menacing manner. "She's fine."

Christina kicks him under the table, satisfied when he yelps in surprise. All that practice kicking Alex under the table has finally paid off. "Shut up, she's not fine. You're not a girl, shut up."

"Hey!" Sloan says again. "Girls don't have a monopoly on feelings! I didn't see you comforting Callie when all this was going down—"

"Let's not fight," Callie says, doing the resigned but determined voice. "Especially not about me, especially not about this. A patient died today, I got overly emotional about it, I don't want to talk about it. Can we just, like, eat peanuts and drink beer?"

Sloan meets Christina's eyes like he's about to start a staring contest, but then he blinks and shrugs, gaze sliding back to Three. "I can if she can," he says, already sounding sort of distracted.

Christina looks at Callie, who looks back at her with her eyebrows raised. Christina can't tell if it's because she's waiting for Christina to chime in as well or if she's also judging Sloan for making eyes at an intern. It's probably the first one, considering the whole George thing.

Christina doesn't really have room to judge either, but she still says, "I can if you go for broke and just take a picture. It'll last longer, stalker."

Sloan's eyes snap back to her. "I'm not thinking about putting my Big Sloan in Little Grey," he says way too quickly and horrifyingly.

"Uh," Callie says, which validates all of the deep, deep existential horror that Christina experienced at every word that just came out of Sloan's mouth.

"Ew!" Christina shrieks and kicks Sloan under the table again.

"Ow!" Sloan shrieks back.

"You deserved that," Callie says to Sloan, her full judgment face on. "That was disgusting."

Sloan's mouth actually drops. "You married an intern!" he says defensively. He points accusingly at Christina. "And when you were an intern, you would have married an attending if—" He seems to realize what he's saying and cuts himself off.

Christina still kicks him under the table a third time.

"Ow!" Sloan complains again.

"Stop deserving it," Callie says. Christina really does like Callie.

Callie is making the George-cheated-with-Izzie face, which Christina at least knows how to deal with. "I'll get the next round," Christina announces, and goes to get the next round.

"Thank you!" Callie calls after her. She and Sloan immediately start squabbling under their breath when she leaves the table. They're practically like siblings except for the simmering sexual tension. Christina doesn't totally get their relationship. It's a little like Mer and Derek back when they were pretending like they weren't in love with each other, except that Christina's pretty sure Callie isn't in love with Sloan and she's only mostly certain Sloan is in love with Callie.

Christina doesn't want to know enough to ask, but she's also sort of curious. It's times like this that she kind of gets why she and Mer get along so well. Meredith has some sort of pathological need to expel her feelings to someone who isn't interested in her love life and Christina doesn't care, but she also likes knowing things. It works out, even if sometimes Christina gets annoyed with hearing about Derek and all of Meredith's anxieties about being in a relationship with a nice guy who adores her.

Callie does not like to share. Callie doesn't care if Christina sees her walking around the apartment in her underwear but clams up the moment she might have to be emotionally vulnerable.

Seriously, who the fuck does George think he is? Callie is _hot_ , Christina doesn't need to be a lesbian to see that. Fine, model doctor is hot too, but that didn't even work out. Some people just don't appreciate what they've got. At least for all the bullshit he spews, Sloan knows how to recognize a good thing when he sees it. Too bad the bullshit means Callie'll probably never take him seriously.

Oh my god.

Christina brings the drinks back and practically slams them into the table when she sits and demands, "Did I start calling you McBlah last night?"

"Oh no," Sloan groans.

Callie lights up. "I forgot about that!" she cries. She turns to smirk at Sloan. "So accurate. Sometimes the crap you say, man…"

"Right?" Christina asks, delighted.

Sloan is shaking his head. "No. No nicknames."

Callie pouts. "Awww, come on. Please? Pretty please?"

"No," Sloan says.

Callie does the pitiful princess face and Sloan caves. Christina notes this. Knowledge is power.

"Fine," he mutters.

Callie and Christina cheer and lift their beers. "To McBlah!"

"That's Mr. Blah Blah McBlahtherson to you," McBlah says, clinking his beer against theirs.

They drink deeply. Christina and McBlah look at each other as Callie downs the whole thing in one go and then stands, claiming an early morning.

"I'll catch a cab with you," McBlah says and then gives Christina a meaningful look or maybe the stink eye as Callie shrugs and goes to hit the bathroom before they head out.

Christina squints back and then says, "I don't know or like you well enough to understand your nonverbal cues."

McBlah rolls his eyes and says, "Stay back a while, let me talk to her. You're not as good at feelings as I am."

That is offensive. Christina is offended. "How dare you," she says. "I'm very good at feelings. It's everyone else that's bad at them. I'm good at everything."

"Fine," McBlah says throwing up his hands. "I'm going to make sexual advances to distract her and I assume you won't want to be around for that."

Christina considers that and then sits back, bringing her beer close to her body as if to protect herself from McBlah's nonsense with it. "Well," she says, then admits: "You're right."

"Thank you," McBlah says, throwing up his hands.

"Giving up on Three, then?" Christina asks, mostly for information-gathering purposes. The jury is still out on whether or not Three getting into shit is something she needs to tell Meredith, but just in case it is…

McBlah pauses and gives her an impressed look. Christina looks back suspiciously, concerned because she can't imagine what he might be impressed by. "Well, and here I thought you weren't fun. Proposing a threesome? Much more interesting than I gave you credit for, Yang."

Christina sputters on a sip of beer. "I'm not—" Ugh. She gives him a look that hopefully conveys at least half of the disgust she actually feels. "I thought I made it clear that I have no interest in—" she flicks a wrist at him, a small nonverbal mercy to spare his delicate feelings, only because it's become clear that he and Callie are actually friends "—I was talking about Little Grey!" Ugh again. She's used his stupid nomenclature for Three.

"Oh, well, that's a relief," McBlah drawls. He's smirking like he won. Christina is mad that she sort of feels like he has. "I hate it when I misjudge someone."

"You're annoying, go away," Christina says, trying not to sulk into her beer. McBlah waggles his fingers at her as he leaves, joining a curious-looking Callie at the door. They exit together, McBlah holding the door open for Callie like a gentleman, and leaves Christina with the seriously misguided interns and Hunt at the bar.

Maybe she'll just go to Meredith's. Ugh, but what if 'Die' is there? Christina doesn't think she can stand another act of the "Death and Die" show.

She'll just go sleep at the hospital.

Hunt is leaving. Christina is out of her chair and following him before she even realizes what she's doing. She doesn't know why and she doesn't know what she's going to say until she's said it and suddenly Hunt is screaming at her, screaming that he doesn't need her.

And then he's kissing her, pressing her up against a wall and his hands are hot on her, practically scalding, and she's kissing back because—

She has no idea. It's all raw insight, messy and passionate and demanding and it's everything their last kiss was in the before. The _before._

Hunt pulls away, his jaw slack in shock like he's not the one who kissed her, not the one who pushed her against the wall and stuck his tongue in her mouth. Christina feels like a live wire where she used to feel like a dying ember. Embers fading into ash, and if she's honest with herself, it started before Burke left her the day of their wedding.

She stares at Hunt. Hunt stares back, like he doesn't know what to do now. Like he's waiting for her to do something.

Burke used to wait for her to do things, too. She used to play guessing games, not sure if she was doing or not doing something because she thought he wanted her to do it or because she thought he didn't want her to do it. Sometimes she tried to split the difference. Not that any of it mattered. His disappointment had been like the cloying mistress of their relationship, always hovering, always a threat.

She realizes now, staring into Hunt's eyes, that she's doesn't want to play any more waiting games.

So Christina walks away.

Hunt doesn't stop her.

It's probably for the best.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where I finally make some real changes to what happened in canon.

The Chief is saying a lot of nice stuff to Christina and Meredith, which feels great but also makes Christina feel like shit. After all the crap that happened in their intern year, Christina thought things couldn't get worse, but somehow the new interns have managed to prove her wrong in the most humiliating of ways. Christina wants a solo surgery, sure. She wants it more than anything else right now, possibly because she really doesn't have anything else except this job right now which is fine because she _loves_ it—

But she doesn't want it enough to practice on herself or other surgeons. Why can't the interns fight and scheme and compete for surgeries like normal people instead of mutilating each other? Christina feels like a failure for not overseeing her moron interns, but how could she have known? Not once, not ever in her entire life has she considered practicing sutures, procedures, let alone _surgeries_ on a fellow doctor. She'd figured out the sutures thing and then she'd gone to confront them and shut it down. What else could she have done?

The niggling guilt makes Christina speak up and interrupt the flow of measured praise. "Chief, sir," she says, clasping her hands behind her back to make them stop shaking. Hands that less than an hour ago sewed together a young woman who had undergone an unnecessary medical procedure for the sake of _practice,_ a self-directed learning experience that could have been _fatal_.

 _Do no harm._ The most basic tenet of being a doctor. How could they have gotten it so wrong? How could Christina have not seen it? How could Christina have not stopped it?

Webber stops talking and looks at her, his gaze steady. "Yes, Yang?"

Christina feels her mouth tremble, tries to harden it into a thin, determined line. "Yesterday, I realized the interns were practicing sutures on each other," she reports. She hates that her voice shakes a little. "I spoke to them and told them to stop. I did not bring it to anyone else, because I believed that was enough, that being exposed and confronted would make them stop." She looks down at her feet. "I was wrong. If I been harder on them or reported it to someone, maybe they wouldn't have taken it as far as they did today."

Meredith says, her voice hollow with shock, "You knew?"

Christina's head whips around to Meredith so quickly that she nearly sees stars. "I just explained that I knew about the sutures," she responds, trying to claw back the edge in her own voice. "Only the sutures."

Now Meredith decides she cares about her half-sister? Enough to throw Christina under the bus, even though Christina's had her back through everything so far? Even after she helped with the _malpractice_ that was that whole Denny heart-stealing debacle, from which Meredith escaped scot-free because Christina made the decision to protect _her sister_ before her career and now when Christina needs Meredith to make the same decision, she's throwing Christina under the bus? When they all know that Webber would do anything for Meredith because her mother was Ellis Grey? Even though if this is Christina's fault, it's _all of their faults_?

"In other words, you're saying that you didn't know about the epidural or the appendectomy," Webber says flatly. He sounds like he's ready to believe otherwise.

"Yes, sir, that is exactly what I am saying," Christina says firmly. She wants to say something else, about feeling like a failure of a resident because somehow her interns don't have enough respect for her to come to her to learn…or to listen to her when she tells them to stop doing something stupid. She would have, if Meredith hadn't just massively undermined her.

She can't even enjoy the high of having technically done her first solo surgery because it comes on the heels of cleaning up what could have been a _catastrophic_ disaster. Sadie could have died, and for what?

The door bursts open and Three gasps out some nonsense that confirms Christina's story.

The Chief looks at Christina, then Meredith.

"All of you, get out," he says forcefully. "I don't even want to look at you right now. Dr. Grey, return to your timeout with the other interns."

Three shrinks a little at the demeaning use of the term timeout. Christina barely contains a sneer.

"Yes, sir," she whispers and slinks out. Christina and Meredith follow her out.

Christina is barely even surprised when Meredith grabs her by the arm and drags her to an empty hallway out of earshot of the Chief's office.

"You knew?!" Meredith repeats.

Christina laughs hollowly.

The color rises high in Meredith's face at the sound. "Don't laugh! This isn't funny!"

"Oh, really?" Christina says disdainfully. She barks out another laugh purely out of spite. "Oh, you think I don't know that? You think that I _don't know this isn't funny?_ Your insane friend 'Die' nearly actually died in there and if Bailey hadn't shown up, you'd have one less friend and your _sister_ might have lost her career, and you're here acting like this is somehow all my fault!"

Meredith's mouth flattens into a crooked line. "But you knew and you didn't tell me. You didn't tell anyone!" She ends on a shout, and Christina has had enough.

"I'm sorry for not realizing the sister you only met months ago is a maniac who was willing to cut open her friends and colleagues!" Christina shouts back, furious and feeling betrayed. "I told them to stop! I didn't realize they didn't have enough respect for me or themselves to not do what I said! When should I have told you about it? While I was trying to keep your friend from bleeding out? I was trying to tell you and Webber about it when you tried to pin all the blame on me!"

"I wasn't trying to do that!" Meredith denies, her voice getting shrill.

"That solo surgery is mine and you nearly tanked my chances of doing that by acting like it's somehow all my fault when it was _all_ of us who failed to see what our idiot interns were doing!" Christina snarls. "You have your perfect neurosurgeon boyfriend, your mother's legacy, and still you want this too?"

"I deserve it as much as you do—" Meredith tries to interject, but Christina isn't having it.

"Bullshit!" Christina snaps. "That's bullshit. I've worked harder than anyone to be _better_ than everyone while you've been playing house with Shepherd. I'm the one who practically lives in this hospital and I'm the one who pages you when there's something good. _I_ deserve this. It's mine!"

Meredith reels back, sucking in air through her teeth. Christina's chest heaves, a ringing in her ears gradually fading as she calms down. Her hands are shaking again and she clenches them at her sides as she steadies her breathing.

"I want my mother's journals back," Meredith says coolly.

Christina stares at her. "Fine."

Meredith stares back. "Good." Then she walks past Christina, heading…wherever. Probably to find Shepherd.

Vindictiveness makes Christina call out, "Meredith."

When the other woman turns around and gives her an expectant look, Christina smiles as meanly as she can.

"I was wrong," she says, and meets Meredith's eyes to watch them widen and turn hopeful. "You did end up with one less friend tonight."

Christina pushes past her to go through the doors first and doesn't look back. The interns are crowded around the Chief's office now, waiting in a haphazard line with their heads hanging. Three is inside, looking like she is about to wilt and fall on the floor. Christina checks the clock. Callie should be out of surgery now.

By the time she finds Callie, Callie is awake and Bailey is sitting with her. Christina freezes when Bailey hits her with an assessing gaze. She lets all of her breath out in a rush when Bailey says, "Good job today, Yang."

"Thank you, Dr. Bailey," Christina says, going practically limp with relief.

Callie squints at her from the hospital bed. "Did you just bow?"

"No," Christina says. Bailey gives her a look. "I mean, uh… Yes?" She wonders if she should actually bow now.

"Sit down, Yang, before you hurt yourself thinking too hard," Bailey says. Callie huffs with laughter and then winces.

Christina grabs a stool and pulls it up next to Bailey, but not too close. Still close enough to get whacked if Bailey decides she needs it, but not close enough for it to hurt too much.

"Heard your interns went scalpel-crazy on each other," Callie offers.

Christina looks down at her lap, ashamed. "Yeah," she says quietly. It's easier to admit fault here, somehow. Bailey's gaze is less heavy and accusatory than Webber's, Callie's wry but gentle.

"Bet you feel bad for all the shit you put me through now," Bailey says, doing that slow blink thing that makes it clear that you have been an idiot and it's time to apologize for it.

"Yes, um," Christina manages, "sorry."

"Come on, Bailey," Callie says. "Look at her."

Christina looks at Callie who shrugs, and then looks at Bailey and tries to do the pitiful princess look.

Bailey harrumphes and then blows out a big breath. "Look, if your interns were determined to keep it a secret from you, then there's nothing you can do about it. There's only so much you can do. You have to trust them to know better—and then teach them when it's clear that they don't."

Christina takes that in for a long moment. Then she says, "How?"

Bailey whacks her in the shoulder.

"Ow!" Christina says loudly, mostly so Bailey won't do it again.

"Don't make me have to do everything," Bailey scolds. "I've got enough on my plate already. It's time for you to figure out your own plates. I already did my time teaching you."

Still clutching her shoulder, Christina nods.

"Can we feel sorry for me now?" Callie asks, a little plaintively. "My nose was broken! I had to have surgery! And Mark said no sex until it heals because he's shallow."

"He's a plastic surgeon," Christina points out.

Callie glares at her.

Christina rolls her eyes a little, feeling strangely better somehow. "I mean, aw, poor baby. Are you okay?"

Bailey says, "I didn't know you two were friends."

"We're roommates," Callie says.

Bailey looks between the two of them once, then twice. Then three times. "Seriously?" she asks.

Callie and Christina look at each other. They look at Bailey. "Seriously," they say in unison, and then look back at each other in surprise.

Bailey sighs. "Well, I hope you two will be very happy together," she says, and stands up. "Good night."

"Night!" Callie calls after her. Christina mumbles something that could sound like a parting greeting.

"So, interns, huh?" Callie says.

"So, a patient broke your nose, huh?" Christina returns in the same tone.

Callie groans. "Don't remind me."

Christina laughs a little at that. Callie makes a noise that could be reluctant laughter and then they both settle into a sort of comfortable silence.

"Hey," Christina says as gently as she knows how, "seriously. Are you okay?"

Callie doesn't answer right away. When she does, it's soft, almost like she doesn't actually want Christina to hear it. "I don't know. You?"

Christina sucks in a breath at that and then lets it out slowly. "I don't know either." A beat and then she admits unhappily, "I think Meredith broke up with me. As friends."

Both of Callie's eyebrows shoot up. "Damn." A beat and then she says, "I don't think I'm fine." She's blinking furiously like she's trying to hold back tears.

Christina purses her lips together. "Yeah," she says. "I don't think I am either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Meredith and Christina's friendship: don't worry! There will be a resolution!


	4. Chapter 4

All of the interns are on probation. Somehow they aren't all fired, possibly because that'd look bad for the hospital, possibly because it's not like Sadie's going to sue for malpractice. In fact, there's a rumor going around that Sadie's father is the reason the consequences for such a gross error in judgment on the part of all the interns were relatively light considering they nearly killed a perfectly healthy person.

As for Christina, the Chief decides after getting everyone's story that she's telling the truth and there's no reasonable way she could have expected that the interns' behavior would continue, let alone escalate so quickly, so she's still in the running for the solo surgery. 

Meredith hasn't spoken two words to her directly since Christina returned the journals. It sort of sucks, but not as much as the way Webber has singled Christina out for careful scrutiny. Christina hates the tension it puts in her shoulders. The itch of being watched as she plans new skills labs and schedules more annoying one-on-one time with her interns drives her nuts.

"Big day, Yang!" McBlah says from the kitchen counter, crunching the cereal he's eating loudly and only wearing pajama pants. Despite telling Callie no sex until she heals, he's been sleeping in her bed since the surgery, supposedly helping her recover. Christina has already put in a pointed request to Callie for noise-canceling headphones as an early birthday/Hanukkah present.

Callie comes out of the bathroom wearing only panties and a bra. That barely registers with Christina by this point. She has other concerns.

"Does he live here now?" Christina demands. Mostly she's thinking about whether or not she should be charging him rent.

"No," Callie and McBlah say at the same time.

"You would think you would be nicer to me," McBlah complains, "considering I could have the future of your career in my hands today."

Christina considers it for moment, but: "Nah."

"You're going to regret this when I'm the deciding vote and I go with anyone but you," he tells her as he fishes around the milk in his bowl for the last dregs of cereal.

Christina scoffs. "Please. Every attending who's casting a vote today knows I'm the best. Anyone who votes for another resident is just the loser who doesn't know real talent and skill when they see it." She puts one elbow on the table and leans in so close that McBlah leans back to get some space. "Are you a loser, Dr. Sloan?"

McBlah says, "I know that you're manipulating me and I just want to reiterate: I do not like you."

Christina snaps her teeth at him just to hear him scream a little in his throat before scooting back to make a bowl of cereal for herself.

"You know I'm your boss, right?" McBlah points out to everyone, but nobody is listening.

"She's right, though," Callie says, leaning over to tug her pants up her legs. McBlah's eyes go, predictably, to her cleavage and his spoonful of milk misses his mouth and splatters down his bare chest. Christina laughs at him and his annoyed expression. She does not bother to help him get a paper towel, even though she's standing right next to them and could easily rip one off and hand it to him.

"About what?" McBlah mutters as he wipes off the milk he spilled on himself like he's a baby.

Pants on, Callie drags a shirt over her head and then nods at Christina. "She's the best. If you vote for anyone else, you'll just make yourself look bad."

"Thank you," Christina says smugly.

"You know they say that humility is a virtue," McBlah says patronizingly.

"Oh, is that in the same book that says not to sleep with your best friend's wife?" Christina asks, faux-innocent.

"Hey, you don't know anything about that," McBlah says defensively. "You don't get to say that." He turns to Callie. "She has no right to say that!"

Callie gives both of them an exasperated look, but turns a concerned look on Christina. "You have been a little testier than usual recently."

Now it's Christina's turn to be defensive. "It's stress!"

Callie perks up in a way that means she's found something to tease Christina about. "Oh, you know what's good for stress? Orgasms. You know who's good at orgasms? Mark—"

"No," Christina and McBlah say in unison.

Callie shoulders her bag and shrugs. "I'm just saying," she says. "Think about it." She rushes out the door. Probably cutting it close on a scheduled surgery again.

"No! No way!" Christina calls after her.

"I'm not anyone's stud horse!" McBlah bellows. He grimaces when Christina gives him a 'what the fuck are you saying' look.

Their only response is the door slamming closed.

Christina shakes her head and then pulls the milk out of the fridge. There's not enough to cover all her cereal. McBlah smirks at her.

"If you're going to eat our food, you should at least pay for some of it," Christina tells him with a scowl.

McBlah's mouth drops open. "I'm the one who bought this cereal! And the milk!"

Huh. "Oh," Christina says. She shoves the empty carton into his hands. "Then we need more milk. Thanks!" She grabs her bag and her bowl of cereal and books it: she's cutting it closer than she likes today too.

"You're not welcome," McBlah yells after her.

Christina slams the door on him too. She locks the door too aggressively to punctuate her non-response, partly because it reminds her that Callie made a copy of the key for him.

Despite that, it's a pretty good day. Every attending votes for Christina and the best part is the disgruntled look on McBlah's face as the Chief announces the results. Christina contains herself until the attendings disperse to do whatever it is that attendings do all day and then starts a victory dance. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Meredith storm off. Whatever. That's not her problem anymore.

With the interns all on probation, she has to choose a resident to assist her. It's glorious to be the granter of the privilege to assist her on her first solo surgery, the amputation(!!). Izzie and George are predictably weird and uncomfortable about it. Meredith is apparently too proud to even try for the position. Alex, bewilderingly, ends up being the most prepared and most suitable choice.

"Izzie's being weird," he mutters as they wash their hands.

"Izzie's always weird," Christina reminds him.

"No, it's really weird this time," he insists.

Christina feels her face pinch. Izzie going off the rails has historically been sort of bad for her, and that particular sore spot has been smarting a lot more than usual lately. "Why tell me and not Meredith?"

Alex finishes, straightens up to look at her thoughtfully. She mirrors him. "You're the robot. You don't let emotion change what call you make." He pauses for a moment. "Mer's not like that."

Christina looks at him, really looks at him. "No," she agrees. "She's not."

Alex's mouth twists. "I need your help, Christina," he says. He doesn't look happy about it.

She inhales deeply and closes her eyes, lets it out. She opens her eyes. "Okay. Let's crush this surgery and then we'll do what needs to be done."

"Let's do this, boss," Alex says. Christina grins at him. To her surprise, he grins back.

The solo surgery is amazing. Christina feels like she's floating on air afterward, even after weathering through what felt like the Chief breathing down her neck the whole time.

Hunt makes an actual effort to be the first to congratulate her on a job well done. Christina has no idea what to do with that, but luckily she's saved from having to figure it out when the rest of the attendings descend upon her and Alex to pat her and themselves on the back, crowing that they knew she was the one to bet on.

In the middle of the high in the wake of her successful solo surgery and the distracting crush of attendings around her, Christina barely even notices Sloan until he reaches out and actually pinches her cheeks, smirking when she startles badly but lets go when she bats sharply at his hands. "Very good, Yang, you did me proud," McBlah says, even blah-ier than usual for some reason.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Sloan," Christina replies in her nicest polite voice just to freak him out, which works splendidly because he gives her a nervous look and quickly retreats from the hubbub.

"Dr. Yang!" Shepherd exclaims, emerging from between an ortho attending and a urology attending. He clasps Christina on the shoulder with one hand and beams. "Very well done. You really have a bright future ahead of you. I'm just glad to have been a part of it."

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd," Christina says, feeling surprisingly genuine about it. "I have a lot more to learn and I'm lucky to have you as a teacher." Shepherd is a good teacher, and even throughout his ups and downs with Meredith, he has always been fair and decent with her education, always professional. He hadn't even really complained about Christina kicking him out of his bed with Meredith that much. So far his worst transgression has been the time he tried to get Sloan to sleep with Christina to keep her out of Meredith's bed. Still not the worst track record, considering…Burke. And Hahn.

Shepherd blinks and it's like for a second he morphs into Derek, Meredith's boyfriend—a small pit of unease rises in her stomach, but then he blinks again and is back to being Dr. Shepherd, head of neurology at Seattle Grace Hospital. He smiles brightly, pats her on the shoulder one more time, and then leaves.

The unsettled feeling doesn't quite leave, but Christina pushes it down so that she can focus on what's right in front of her. At least she gets to laugh at Alex, who looks terrified by all the positive reinforcement.

After it's done, Webber approaches. "Soaked up enough praise yet?" he asks, the acidic snark underlying his disappointed tone crashing like a cold wave down over her. She looks down, knowing that if he'd had just a little more reason to, he would have barred her from being able to do the solo surgery at all. "You did well, Yang. I just hope that it serves as a reminder to you that the opportunities you enjoy here are contingent on your skill as not only a surgeon, but as a teacher."

"Yes, I understand, sir," she says quickly, hoping that will be enough. Luckily, it seems to be. He nods gravely and walks away. She barely takes a breath until he leaves the room. Once he's gone, the entire room seems to breathe a sigh of relief. Some of the attendings watch him leave with a frown on their faces, like Shepherd.

Hunt appears at her side to lean down and whisper in her ear. "Don't take it personally," he says softly, his hot breath brushing against her skin giving her goosebumps and making her extremities tingle in anticipation. She hopes she's not blushing. "It's not about you. He's taking the new ranking hard."

Christina takes in a shaky breath, feeling light-headed. "With all due respect, Dr. Hunt," she says back, trying but failing to keep her voice down, "it feels personal, seeing as he seems to be taking that out on me."

"Yang," Bailey says from out of nowhere, making Christina jump and Hunt scurry away. Christina wishes she could appreciate the way Bailey scares the attendings without being scared of Bailey herself.

"Dr. Bailey," Christina nearly chirps out, trying not to seem too much like she's freaking out. She knows Bailey and the Chief are close, while Bailey has seemed ambivalent about Christina since she found out that Christina had been covering for Burke's tremor—she wishes she'd thought more about that before saying anything critical about the Chief in the hospital.

Bailey purses her lips and then, amazingly, says, "I'm proud of you. Good work today."

Christina is so shocked and delighted and confused by the outright praise that she bows. Actually bows, like Bailey is her Mr. Miyagi or something. "Thank you, Dr. Bailey. Thank you so much."

"What are you doing? Stop that! You're embarrassing me," Bailey sputters at her in outrage, and then hightails it out of the room, glaring at anyone in her line of sight who dares to look curious, which has the effect of making all the attendings scatter and effectively end the unofficial mini-celebration.

"So something _is_ going on with Hunt," McBlah says, stepping into the spot next to Christina that Hunt had vacated so abruptly. He waggles his eyebrows at her. "I'm telling Callie."

Christina looks at him as forbiddingly as she can. "You better not."

"Just try and stop me," McBlah says, and darts away when Christina tries to grab him by the lab coat. "Too slow!" He zooms out of the room before she can react.

"That guy's an asshole," Alex grumbles to Christina.

Christina shakes her head. "Tell me about it."

Alex nods and then sighs. "I'm going to go find Izzie. I'll talk to her and then…I don't know. I'll page you."

"Okay," Christina says, relieved that she doesn't have to do it herself. Alex nods and then leaves too, and then Christina is alone.

Except for Meredith, she realizes suddenly. Now that she knows, Christina makes to follow Alex, but Meredith steps forward and all the learned behavior that Christina has from being her best friend has Christina slowing and turning to give Meredith the attention she's asking for.

"That was amazing," Meredith says.

Christina is pleased, but also too nervous about what else might be coming to respond with much grace. "Thanks," she says shortly.

"Alex was great, too," Meredith continues, shifting anxiously.

"…He was," Christina says, just to break the sudden uncomfortably long pause.

"I just want you to know," Meredith says, "I understand. I know you chose him because we were fighting, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you give my mother's journals back. I don't think you should have made it personal, but I forgive you."

Christina stares at her, momentarily speechless. "Wow, okay," she manages eventually, and then turns to leave.

"Christina," Meredith says. "Come on."

Christina opens the door, and then she stops. She does have something else to say to Meredith, it turns out. "I didn't make it personal," she says lowly. "Alex made it clear that he was the most prepared, so I chose him. You didn't even bother to make a case to me. I don't make choices based on emotion." _Not anymore_ , the surprising thought rises.

Christina used to pride herself on being cool-headed and dispassionate under pressure, always making the logical, careful choice instead of being swayed with emotion. She'd thought it was Seattle Grace that had broken her, then maybe Burke. But maybe it'd been Meredith all along, needing more and more than Christina wanted to give, slowly wearing her down until she didn't know where she started and Meredith began, until Christina didn't even know herself anymore.

She's not happy that Meredith isn't her friend anymore. But…maybe Christina needs some space from Meredith to figure out who Christina is again. "I didn't make it personal," Christina repeats again. "You did."

She leaves Meredith behind without even looking back.


End file.
